Happy April Fool's Day!!!

Why no one wants to be your "Gay best friend".

I have come across a handful of female individuals over the years who seem to think having a "gay best friend" is somehow a trendy new relationship to which any fashionable woman should partake in. However, I don't blame these women for thinking the way they do. I blame mainstream media, with it's stereotypical depictions of friendships between gay men and straight women that are so often portrayed in popular television shows such as Sex and the City, Glee, Will and Grace, and the horribly offensive Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, just to name a few.

EXAMPLE A

However, I must give some credit to these shows. Twenty years ago the simple idea of basing a television show around any gay character would have been met with instant dismissal by corporate networks. I do believe the gradual production of shows that include gay characters promotes a wider range of acceptance in our culture, but the reappearing stereotypes in these programs is causing some troubling controversy. Too many times have we witnessed overly flamboyant gay male characters who contribute no more than catty jokes and supportive advice to the usual female lead. Often we are portrayed as insecure, depressed and lonely as well. It is apparent that mainstream media doesn't care to advocate in favor of positive gay male role models. You won't find many put together, successful intelligent gay men on TV these days.  This is a growing problem in our culture today that will ultimately have major negative repercussions on future gay generations if it is not repaired.

Last year Teen Vogue even went as far as naming the "gay best friend" or GBF as the "hot new accessory" for any fashionable teenage girl. The article stated that girls can be competitive with one another, and may feel insecure around their prettier more successful female friends. They went on to say that the solution to such problems is to acquire a "GBF". How dare Teen Vogue promote such a harmful stereotype? Why not run an article aimed at helping teenage girls overcome their insecurities, rather than subject a generation of young gay men to harmful objectification? Is our society really that fucked up or is it just me?

It is important to question the validity of any media which portrays gay men in a stereotypical fashion. We are slowly becoming desensitized to the subtle promotion of prejudice in every day life which is why it is crucial to view popular belief, as advertised through the mainstream, with an objective eye.

Sarah Silverman- Sell the Vatican!

It does seem to be the essential solution... 

The hypocrisy of it all

"If the Catholic Church believes marriage is a sacred institution then why do they refrain from protesting marriages between individuals of other faiths?"

Margaret Cho on discrimination and asian chicken salad...

Some pointed Bluntcards

Laura Bush killed a guy?!

 Did you know?

In 1963 Laura Bush ran a stop sign, and crashed into a classmate's car. According to a police report the teenage driver of the other car died shortly after.

This one time at Hitler Youth Camp...
 (yup... the pope was in Hitler Youth)

Except it wasn't a flute...

Impending Doom

Janeane Garofalo on pubic hair...

I think the same can be said for gay guys...

Aimee Mann and Sarah McLachlan on Portlandia!!!

More verbal diarrhea from the New York archbishop this time.

What intrigues me the most is the fact that certain Catholics believe their church some how owns the right to Marriage. As if it is some sacred copy right to which no one can infringe upon. Reality check: we have separation of church and state for a reason. Marriage is first of all a legal union recognized by the state, to which religious ceremonies take the very back seat.
My favorite rhetorical argument the right wing loves to use in any forum is "If gays are allowed to marry then where do you draw the line? People will start marrying their relatives, pets, and even start practicing legal polygamy!"... Well the right wing along with the Catholic Church seems to love drawing lines every which way as to what you can and cannot do. They have been doing so throughout history, so why not give the left a turn?

A Thought

"I don't believe any one label be it race, religion, sexuality or philosophy should ever define you so much so that it consumes everything else about you." - The Angsty Gay

Because Christianity doesn't generally vilify gays... right?

This week an important statement was introduced by the United Nations condemning homophobia spawned from institutions such as christianity. Archbishop Silvano Tomasi (shown below, left), was quoted during a talk with the Human Rights Council "People are being attacked for taking positions that do not support sexual behavior between people of the same sex. When they express their moral beliefs or beliefs about human nature they are stigmatized, and worse they are vilified, and persecuted."


I'm having a really hard time getting around the hypocrisy of this statement. Not only does Christianity as a whole promote anti-gay philosophy, but sects within the institution go as far as budgeting large amounts of money annually to limit rights to gay American citizens. It's a well known fact that Christianity condemns homosexuality, so why all of a sudden are Christians the victims? I'm glad at least we live in a country where people's opinions, no matter how undeniably hypocritical they are, can be expressed freely. Maybe Christians should try living as second class citizens and then maybe they'll see what it's really like to be attacked, stigmatized, vilified and persecuted.

"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want to be your token best friend and go 
shopping with you!"

Oh the stereotypes Sex and the City affords us...

I wonder if it will ever catch on...

Portlandia, gender bending done right.

So this is a new sketch comedy show on the Independent Film Channel created by Fred Armisen (of SNL) and Carrie Brownstein. The show features a variety of characters including the couple in the clip below. What I love about this clip is the fact that Fred and Carrie switch gender roles, yet it's done in good humor so we can all share a laugh. Sarah McLachlan and Aimee Mann, two of my favorite angsty female songstresses, will be making cameos this season (along with many others).  

Are we being taken advantage of by corporate advertisers?

Walking down Eighth Avenue in Chelsea you can't help but notice several advertisements geared towards male sexuality on each block. No where else in New York do you see men being objectified for commercial purposes. It's such a normality on Eighth Ave that I've become completely desensitized to it until now. This week I realized that perhaps us NYC gays are being taken advantage of by major corporations trying to sell various products such as clothing, steroids, online dating, pornography, ect. All things we don't really need, but are unfortunately sold in copious amounts in this part of town. 

The fact that these items are so ubiquitous on Eighth Avenue doesn't really bother me. What really drives me crazy is the way they're advertised. We've all seen the barrage of posters featuring "perfectly" sculpted guys starring out with an aroused look in their eyes, and the suggestive texts attached to them. I can't help but think this display of so-called "perfect male body image" can slowly erode away at any guy's self esteem. However that's exactly their intention. They're letting you know that if you don't buy into whatever their selling that you should feel self conscious about your body and purchase whatever it is to make yourself worthy of attention. These advertisements represent millions upon millions of dollars worth of budgeting by corporations to make you feel shitty about yourself. But don't, for a second buy into this stereotypical idea. 

Their is a huge problem in the gay community today concerning body image. So many of us are so deeply concerned with the way we look and I believe it's partly due to these marketing ploys. As a whole it is very easy for any entity concerned with making money to take advantage of the gay community in this fashion. Hopefully we can start to see a change in the way corporations treat our community. Instead of making us out to be a stereotypical over-sexed, body conscious group, we can begin to receive the respect we deserve. However, this respect can only be achieved if we decide to become our own catalyst. No longer can we support this shameless promotion of so-called "perfection".

My walk down 8th Avenue this      afternoon:

Is it really necessary to market HIV testing with sex...
Doesn't that seem a little contradictory?  

Former Nirvana drummer and lead vocalist of the Foo Fighters Dave Grohl can't stand Glee either!!!

It was reported, when approached by Glee producers, Dave Grohl had some interesting things to say about the show. Including, but not limited to: "It's every band's right, you shouldn't have to do f**king Glee. F**ck them for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee."
I can't say I don't disagree with him, and anyways who can resist Dave Grohl mmmmmmm... Well maybe Dave Grohl 10 years ago.

P.S. Let's put a tack in Glee... I'll be adressing them       promptly.

“To me there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.” -Janeane Garofalo

Ok so maybe sacrificing your life for your friend would be more courageous along with a few other things, but I'm still in love with this woman!

WTF???!!!

What's up with matching trench coats in the middle of the
desert?... Creepy.

So advocate.com reported this story a few days ago as if it were completely normal... is it just me or is this just completely wack? This seemingly elder gay couple found a doll at a flea market years ago and have raised it as their child ever since. They say they treat it as if it were a real child i.e. buckling it into car seats and what not. I just don't get it. Ever heard of a dog or a cat? Maybe you could just adopt an actual child in need of a family, but hey whatever floats your boat. Read the full report here

Ya sometimes I just feel like setting my laptop on fire...

I feel like I see so many people addicted to their media devices. A possible solution perhaps?

Has social media ruined the coffee shop romance?

It was reported this year that one in three relationships (however brief or anonymous) started online. With the dawning age of social media upon us, is the gay community facing a challenging new crossroads? In just a few years will it even be possible to meet a soulmate outside the confines of the social network? Will the members of our community be socially competent enough to engage in just the first steps of starting a relationship apart from the online dating world?
When sending a digital message over a social dating forum you have a sense of detachment and safety knowing that there are little to no public consequences of rejection. In the real world when presented with a situation that requires you to approach another guy and break the initial, sometimes mortifying fear of instant public rejection, one is often hesitant to even glance in their direction. The barrier the internet provides between you and your fear of rejection is easy to succumb to. However, this disconnect from actual reality may have detrimental effects on a person's natural level of confidence. Relying heavily on social media as the potential catalyst for a relationship makes you less confident in your own ability to not only introduce yourself to another guy, but also to carry on a legitimate conversation and future relationship goals you might have (if it even gets that far with someone you've met online).


So you're sitting in Starbucks one afternoon and you notice the guy across the room taking brief glimpses in your direction. You make eye contact once or twice. Does it end here? Well that's up to you. Chances are he is just as afraid of rejection as the next guy, so the ball is in your court. What do you do? Try making extended eye contact a few moments past the point of comfort. Once the contact is broken look down and maybe look back to see if he's still looking, if so smile. Chances are you won't be able to make him come to you. You'll have to go to him. The proverbial frog must go to the fly in this situation. Walk over and ask to sit with him. If he says he'd rather not then oh well, water under the bridge, you never have to see him again. If he agrees then look at that, you have the opportunity to meet someone new. There is nothing to lose in this situation, and remember if he's looking he's probably interested.

Be this as it may, there are a few valid concepts about online dating that should be mentioned. There is no other place save online dating websites where you can instantly weed out dozens of guys who would not be compatible with you simply by viewing their profile. This notion allows you to find a guy who may seem to compliment you perfectly, but what must be taken into account is the other guy's perception of himself. Does his profile reflect who he truly is, or who he thinks he is. It's really impossible to tell. 
However you see it, it's crucial to realize the importance of pure, one-on-one interaction, and the ways it can build confidence.